just remember that I, a registered nurse with a bachelors degree, accidentally glued a patient’s foreskin shut over his penis and had to call a urology doctor to come help me get it to retract
I had to send a page that said “I glued the patient’s penis shut. send help.”
The urology resident said, “Wow. I’ve never seen anything like this. Let me go ask someone else.”
It’s been like 5 days since this happened and I’m just sitting at the nurses station with some coworkers and the urology resident walks by and says “hey! Glue any penises shut lately??” And keeps on walking
THEN ALL MY COWORKERS WERE LIKE WHAT JUST HAPPENED
and so yeah, that freaking doctor exposed me and went on his way
Back at my old college there was a student lounge place I affectionately had dubbed “the weirdo lounge” because all the weirdos congregated there. You know those nerds who sit there and all they do is talk about anime, like those reddit pages, wear fedoras and shit? That kinda weirdos. So anyway the tragedy is that the Weirdo Lounge had THE BEST one person couch. It had a little laptop table attached and it was so damn comfy. Plus, it was always somewhat dark in there because of how the windows was positioned. So I’d go there to nap during my break periods. So one day I was napping when someone threw an empty plastic bottle at me and I snapped awake. A white nerdy girl from a few couches down said “I’m so sorry that was intended for my puppy to fetch!” and I’m like “DOGS?!” and I snap awake, that’s when I looked towards my foot and saw a whiteman. Sitting there. Like a dog. With his tongue out. and then he fucking barked. I was so infuriated but I handed him the bottle and he put that shit on the floor and then picked it up with his mouth. And then on all fours, ran over to the white girl and dropped it in her lap. I was so fucking upset.
This whole post is gold, but for me the best part is “whiteman” being all one word.
